Can't Say No
by Transcendent
Summary: A world unknown...a life unlived...how far is he willing to go when it comes to his own innocence? R&R sexual content.


**Can't Say No** by: Transcendent

**ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY.** Outside the wind whirled, tossing the lifeless leaves of a tree full of undying purpose. The uneven colors of the midnight sky sent him spiraling into his own mind. Everything made him think. 

He trudged down the wet sidewalk as if he were drunk. He could see the street lights reflecting on the street creating the illusion of a yellow glow to the dark, dull pavement below him. 

His heart was pounding heavily in his chest; it was out of excitement. For what he didn't know but he wanted to find out. 

Today was his eighteenth birthday. That, to his girlfriend of twenty five, meant he was legal. Legal to do what? Legal to do the inevitable; something he should've done years ago. But he had waited a happy virgin still waiting to be held in bed.

He was no longer a child in his senior year. He was respected as one of those kids who'd succeed. The one you pass in the hallways and _know_ they'll make it through college and beyond. The type of person you want, but can't have.

He had learned at a young age not to say anything when you're smaller and smarter than the rest of the kids. Even though he now towered over most of the kids in his school, he still felt as if he had to hide his mental capabilities. Maybe somewhere he was still scared.

Around him leaves danced in the wind, released of their duties and left to die. Some crunched under his deliberate steps, and others just got in his view. Autumn was here and that meant a whole new cycle of life. After everything died, everything would grow again. Old wilting flowers would be replaced with colorful roses and lilacs.

The overpass underneath him was old; maybe as old or older than himself. The bridge was sturdy and built in an arc style out of multicolored red bricks. It reminded him of the delicate bridges that lie in the middle of gardens in wonderful paintings. He could imagine the green scenery around him lush with life; birds singing and chirping in trees and in mid-air. Small squirrels would dash up and down trees and across the small, dirt pathway. Vines would've crawled up the railings of the bridge, hanging loosely from it as if planned. Water lilies would decorate the small river-like waterway and frogs would live on the banks.

Halfway across, he looked down at the small stream. The water was muddy, and he knew there were no fish. Nothing special. He watched small sprinkles of rain begin to drop into the water, creating small ripples. He didn't think much of it.

One thing that was on his mind, though, was his girlfriend. She had been pressuring him for quite some time. He loved her, of course. The love he held for her was unexpected to him; it was so great. She was elegant; everything she did was in one fluid motion. Her hair was an incredibly exotic and thick, dark ruby black. The feeling between her lovely locks in-between his fingers was enjoying. Her petit form was muscular, toned, and tan. Her hips fit into his hands perfectly. Her eyes were like pools of vivid mulberry wine. He loved it when she looked up at his own greens. Her lips were full, her hands were small, she had perfect curves, and he just enjoy her.

His girlfriends' personality was fiery and seemed to demand attention. She wasn't the one to back off or out of anything. Her fast thinking also led to thinking things through. She wasn't clear nor descript; mysterious. In some ways more than others, she reminded him of himself.

Taking his eyes of the raindrops now falling more steadily into the pound, he cleared the rest of the bridge and continued through the park. He traveled the sidewalks and the dull glow of the sidewalk still marveled him. Few cars passed him but his eyes never left his own black shoes.

He crossed the street without looking; he didn't have to. He made his way subconsciously, with a melancholy look, to the entrance of the seraphic home of his girlfriend. He was excited but he could feel the beginnings of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. He felt as if something was holding him back then pushing him forward. Some would call it mixed emotions.

His pace slowed slightly as he passed the twin poles at the entrance. The mood he had been in had taken a downfall. What was he doing here? He felt as if he was intruding upon sacred lands only to fulfill the dreams that leave his heart racing at night; a sin on sacred land. He'll be going to hell for sure.

"I knew you'd come," came a whisper from in front of him. There stood his queen clad in a red priestess robe with an old twine broom.

"You must know me well, then," he answered. Why was it he answered her when he usually never answered anyone else? Maybe she had control over him, but could she make him do whatever she commanded?

She smiled and motioned for him to come in. "Come on, get inside. I don't want you to catch a cold, hun."

Without a word or a nod he walked forward and up the few steps there were. He watched the skirts of her robe sway from side to side and her hair shine in the light. 

They stopped inside after he had shut the sliding Japanese doors shut. She had watched him before tugging on his jacket sleeve, near his hand. A small smile appeared on her zealous face; he knew she was happy to see him.

"You're soaking, Trowa. Did you walk?" With another tug she pulled his drenched jacket off and hung it on a nearby hook to drip.

He felt a smirk crawl onto his lips as her smile traveled to her eyes and a small giggle escaped her pink lips. Maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad (or as good) as he had previously pondered.

She heaved a small sigh and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You're so cute with you smirk," she whispered in his ear. Softly she brought her now moistened lips to his cheek.

His arms encircled her waist in an embrace. With her in his arms he could feel her body heat through his shirt, her body pressed into his and his heart thump loudly in his chest.

"I thought this night should be special, Trowa," she purred seductively. "Stay here, I'll be back in a bit, love."

She pulled away from him with a small peck on his lips. Trowa licked his lips as his arms left her and were replaced by his sides. She always left him wanting more whether or not the kiss was long. His anxiety traveled down to his gut; what was this feeling?

Trowa watched her vanish into a room across the hall. He sighed, his shoulders falling when his breath released. Was this night going to end? Would it end with him happy? Or...

Regretting everything?

Soon, his body was moving to the soft glow of a room. Damn that curiosity. Trowa stood in the doorway to face a giant fire. He had seen it before. The heat pulled him in; he needed to dry off. He sat on the mat cross legged and leaning on his outstretch arms behind him. 

Trowa's eyes closed and his mind fled from the aching in his groin to the tornado of burning embers. 

_"Isn't it beautiful, Trowa? It's my scared fire. I sit here and meditate," she looked up at him, her wine-colored eyes glowing with the fire. Suddenly a smile appeared on her face. "Sometimes, I can read things in the fire. They tell me the future, good and bad."_

With those words embedded in his head, Trowa couldn't take his eyes off the never growing, never shrinking flames that enticed him like his girlfriend. 

That fire was holy and the rain outside was soiled. Somehow, he felt both easily described what he was feeling right now.

Trowa heard the floor crack from behind the fire. Behind the tower of flames, he could make out dark hair set ablaze. He closed his eyes again and took a big breath.

She said nothing; she just stood behind the fire. She could tell he had heard her come in. 

"What do you see in the fire right now, Rei?" he asked rather innocently, curiousity filling his baritone. He pictured her suddenly smirking with guile and her eyes searching the inferno for a hidden answer. 

"I see you...and me."

He didn't move; his eyes stayed shut and his body relaxed. This is what he wanted, wasn't it? He loved her, he wanted her. Trowa wanted to hold her in his arms. Would he turn out like the cat, the one who got killed by his own fetish for curiosity? Would Rei be the murderer, the slaughterer, for his innocence?

Damn that cat. Damn love. Damn society and the crude expectations of his male peers. He felt pressured by her and by his friends.

_"Yeah, Trowa! Got yourself a hot girlfriend and you're going to get laid at eighteen! A little late...but better than a lot of other dorky guys. WHOA! Wait, didn't mean that! Well, at least she's older, ya' know? She'll treat you right; she won't hurt you. Just go slow and ignore your lust. You'll be fine, bud...you'll be fine."_

Trowa shook his head; his friends meant nothing to him right now. They had told him lies, just like how his life was. A bunch of bullshit lies. He had to grow up sometime...and today would be his lucky day.

Rei stepped from her hiding place with a small smile on her tanned face. "You ready?"

He wanted to shake his head and run away, but this was his chance. "Yeah."

Trowa watched her glide towards him. Soon she was nearly on top of him on her hands and knees. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back with a small shove.

"You don't have to do this if you're not ready, love," she said into his ear roughly. 

He lied, "No, I'm fine."

Her tongue traced circles near his ear. "Whatever you say, Trowa."

He left his hands at his side as her tongue and lips made their way down around his neck. Trowa knew he would regret this day; he wasn't ready. Maybe he'd be ready next time if he went through with this...he has to do this. He has to grow up.

Rei rolled over and stood. Did she know?

"I'll leave this up to you. I'm not going to pressure you, Trowa. You are only 18." She walked out of the room with that said. 

He softly repeated what she had said to himself, "Only...18." Trowa heaved himself up easily. He loved her, so he'd do this for her. He had to say goodbye to innocence. It had to be stolen someday and this was the only way to lose it. 

In the hall candles outlined the path to her room. She had planned ahead. Trowa followed the lighted path down the long hallways to a small room near the back of the shrine. 

"You know, Trowa, that I love you." She was standing in the far corner.

"I love you, too." 

"Then don't make this bigger than it is." Rei blew out the candle. Now she was in control.

Somehow he didn't feel that this was his decision. Even if he had walked to this room, she wouldn't have let him leave. This didn't seem fair.

Trowa's breathing started to speed up with his heart and the aching that he thought had disappeared. 

He felt a hand tug upward on his shirt. He shook his head, this will be the first and last time.

"Rei-"

Her lips pressed onto his and her tongue softly caressed his. Her hips grinded into his but he kept his hands pinned at his sides. 

"I just wanted to-"

A soul finger was placed onto of his lips to silence him. "No more."

She was moving too fast; she wasn't going to be gently. His shirt had been discarded already, and she was removing his jeans. Soon he'd be bare and to hide her would be her lies.

This wasn't fair.

Her hand touched what was throbbing.

He wanted to yell at her. _Stop, Rei, stop while you're ahead. _

"Rei, don-"

"No, Trowa. I won't."

Rei pushed him harder than he had expected. He fell backwards with a thump and landed on a cold bed. Cold sheets seared his warm skin. Her body pressed into his with no mercy. 

All he can do now is wait for it to end and the ache in his gut to subside.

_"But how could I miscalculate, perfect lies from a perfect date. If I could choose, it's only you."  
- Brand New - "The No Seatbelt Song"_ **Thanks to:** my like what...seven or eight (give or take a few, depends on my mood) editors. **Sil**, **Drea**, **Heirel**, **SVZ**, **Misty**, **Liquid Ice**, and **Alma**. Some of them didn't edit this (yet)...but I'm sure they will. Just depends on when they get around to it or when I get around to telling them to get around to it. ^__~ Everyone needs reminders every now and then. 


End file.
